From Finland, with Drunken Love
by tsumimita
Summary: France gets Santa drunk. Santa is Finland. Therefore, France gets Finland drunk. DO YOU SEE WHAT THIS MEANS


Francis wasn't sure whether to just smile, cringe or flee for his life. Usually, molestation was somewhere on his list of options, but this wasn't exactly a usual situation, you know?

"H-Heeey, Ranska! What do _you _want for Christmas…?"

Yeah, he'd gotten Tino drunk. So sue him!

Alright, so when he said he'd get Santa drunk, he wasn't really thinking straight (no surprise there). For some reason or other, he seemed to forget exactly _who_ Santa was. I mean, you know, a small, blond Finn wasn't exactly what comes to mind when one hears 'Santa'.

"You know, Monsieur Finlande, I did not think you could get drunk so easily…"

"Ha ha, what?" Tino giggled, stopping to hiccup, "I swear to drunk I'm not God! Ha ha ha!"

Well, the truth was, Tino hadn't gotten drunk so easily. Francis had left out a glass of one of his best wines, before (in hindsight, at least) stupidly leaving the bottle next to it. Then, overlooking his stupidity in his excitement, the Frenchman went to hide so as to watch the situation unfold.

His first surprise was having cute little Tino arrive on his doorstep rather than the fat man he'd been expecting.

Tino had been rightly confused when he saw the inconspicuous glass of wine, but upon discovering the note that lay beside it ("to Santa"), he smiled and drank it all in what seemed to be a single gulp.

His second surprise was Tino actually taking the bottle and downing it.

In one go.

Maybe his actions weren't as unexpected as Francis thought. Tino had, after all, traveled the whole world in one night without even a break. Of course he'd be tired and somewhat dehydrated, so it wasn't such a big surprise that he'd try to drink as much as he could.

But by that, it didn't mean that Francis expected the Finn to start raiding his cupboards.

Okay, so Tino was tipsy, Francis reasoned with himself, trying to justify the other blond's actions. He couldn't bring himself to get angry with the Finn when the other was so obviously inebriated.

So instead, Francis stared silently, jaw agape as Tino began to take all the bottles and cans out one by one and drinking them all in the same fashion he had with the first wine bottle. At this point, Francis really should have stopped him, but he was still too stupefied to do anything. It was when Tino reached for his oldest, most prized champagne that he'd been saving for _years _that the Frenchman finally stepped out.

And so this was how they ended up in their current situation. But wait, how does this explain why rape wasn't an option?

Turns out that on top of being a crazy drunk, Tino was an incredibly flirty drunk.

Usually, Francis would take advantage of this. That said, it was soon revealed that Tino was a _creepy _flirty drunk.

"Heeeeyy, y-you haven't, haven't," hic, " answered my queeeestion…!" Tino whined, all up in the other blond's face as he straddled him, holding the other man's wrists to the ground. Now, with his body flush against the Frenchman and his cheeks flushed and breath short, this would usually be very hot indeed.

Too bad that Tino's beer breath (yeah, he kept beer in the cupboards) was right in his face and that look in his eyes – the look that said he would raise Atlantis, blow up Mars and rape Francis so hard his people could feel it – was crazy and absolutely insane enough to make Francis want to huddle in a corner and cry.

"Raaaaanskaaaa, what do you waaaant?"

"U-Uh, first, don't you think you should get off ME," the last part came out in a (rather manly, I assure you) squeak as Tino's grip on his limbs tightened immensely and his stare intensified.

"C'mon~"

Francis gulped, and finally forced himself to look up at the Finn, who began to smile drunkenly. It might've been because of the awkwardness, or maybe it was Tino's smile, but at that moment Francis couldn't help but blurt out,

"Kiss me."

Tino's brown eyes looked wide at him, before he broke out into a grin and replied with no hesitation, "okay!"

And when Tino sloppily placed his lips over his, Francis decided that he didn't mind.

He'd just have to make sure that this became a usual thing.


End file.
